The word “non-violent” sometimes gives rise to misunderstandings. As if we always have to be nice, always have to agree. As if, as a manager or colleague, you must constantly take care of everyone: that team member who is struggling, the director who calls at any moment, the partner organization that keeps making demands, or the funding provider with their endless requirements.
But first and foremost, it is about connection with yourself and your purpose. What do you consider important? What need can you, as a manager, no longer ignore? Which value of your organization must now take priority? What does the team as a whole need most?
‘Yes’ is also ‘no’ at the same time
It starts with insight into your own needs and values, and those of your organization. Daring to see, express and defend them. That is taking responsibility. The boundaries then follow naturally. Because saying ‘no’ to one thing always means saying ‘yes’ to something else.
Is that easy? Absolutely not. It requires self-knowledge and courage. The key lies in sincerity and authenticity.
At the same time, you can continue to hear and acknowledge the other person, including their deeper needs, without taking over responsibility. In this way you treat the other person as an adult. In this way true equality arises. In this way you build mature and responsible relationships and collaboration.
The comeback of Nonviolent Communication
These kinds of relationships create space to choose what is truly important. For creative solutions and ideas to emerge. To experience calm and even a sense of abundance. Or at the very least, to clearly know what you and your team need to do. Even when, as a leader and organization, you are in the eye of the storm, in times of crisis, when financial and political pressure is high.
“Saying ‘no’ to one thing always means saying ‘yes’ to something else.”
That’s why I’m increasingly using the term Nonviolent Communication again. ‘Connection’ too often leads to misunderstandings or noise. While it’s really about freedom and responsibility, humanity and equality. Not about having no boundaries or ‘people-pleasing’.
Would you like to discover how you, your team, and your organization can get started with this? How to find the balance between caring for your organization, your people, and yourself? How to stay standing in the storm?
You are welcome at our free breakfast session on April 24, 2025, or feel free to reach out to me by email.
