It’s a shame that we humans sometimes have to lose almost everything before we realize we already have everything. In my case, that walk along the cliffs of my life was a remarkable experience, particularly difficult and particularly instructive. Since then, I’ve had a certain clarity about my deepest desires, clarity about what I want to do, who I want around me, what a good life means to me. One thing that stood head and shoulders above the rest was the realization that I want to live a long life. I actually quite like being here. And that when my time here is up, people at my funeral will say, “Koenraad, he really tried to change the world, to improve it.”
So I know better than ever what I want, but that doesn’t mean I know how to do it. Because that better world, how do I achieve it? Does it start with me? I live in a cohousing community, eat organic, live in an energy-neutral house, work out in a queer gym, and raise my children according to the principles of nonviolent communication… and the world is still fucked. So maybe working on myself isn’t enough. Maybe a better world doesn’t start with me at all.
I live in a cohousing community, eat organic, work in a cooperative, work out in a queer gym, and raise my children according to the principles of nonviolent communication… and the world is still fucked.
It’s a popular tension in our sector, the one between individual effort and systemic ambition. One that is wrongly placed at the two extremes of the spectrum — you and your permaculture vegetable garden on one side, and lobbying against Monsanto on the other. But as with most oppositions, this one is only apparent too. Now that, with S&L, I’ve been trying for five years to formulate an answer to the how-do-I-save-the-world question, the answer is gradually becoming fairly clear to me. And as is so often the case, it’s less black and white than you’d like.
First of all, you don’t have to be a world-changer. A better world is my personal ambition, not a moral judgment. What’s more, having a vision for the future of the world and working toward it requires a certain bandwidth in your head. Bandwidth you don’t have if you’re cold or hungry or have no idea how you’re going to pay next month’s rent. Time and space for improving the world is a luxury good. And as with luxury, it is scarce.
Time and space for improving the world is a luxury good. And as with luxury, it is scarce.
Second, you have to realize that being a CO₂-neutral being yourself is not possible, doesn’t necessarily make you pleasant company, and won’t save the world either. There are already enough studies: the exemplary behavior of a few will not change the masses. Unless you start a religion, perhaps. If you really want to take cold showers, go ahead, but know that it doesn’t make you a better person.
I dare to go one step further. Because if you have the luxury and ambition to concern yourself with your CO₂ emissions, wouldn’t you be better off putting that energy into as much positive impact as possible? Wouldn’t your world-improvement time yield more if spent rethinking power structures and dismantling destructive systems than pursuing your personal purity? Don’t you have more impact as a leader than as a consumer? Wouldn’t you be better off driving your diesel car to five meetings a day than taking the train to two?
Wouldn’t you be better off driving your diesel car to five meetings a day than taking the train to two?
I’m exaggerating, because that works well to get a point across. My point is: a better world does not start with you. There are larger structures that need to be tackled if you really want to see change. That in no way means your well-being has to be sacrificed for a better world. If you want to realize your mission, you first have to take good care of yourself. Of yourself and your loved ones.
How do you improve the world? Take good care of yourself, don’t wait until you’ve almost lost everything before you cherish what you have. If there’s still desire and space left afterward to improve the world, then for fuck’s sake, approach it ambitiously. Build structures that call unequally distributed power into question. Organize yourselves and devise new ways of working and leading. Create alternative products instead of only consuming them. And know that a small group of people can make a difference. Especially when they realize that a better world does not start with them.
